Hi everyone! Sorry, it has been a while since I've posted. Training is over and since Wednesday, I have officially been a Peace Corps Volunteer. Wahoo! I have a lot to share, so this posting will be long and possibly jumbled. Bear with me.
I spent the third week of November in Noordoewer, visiting my site for the first time. (More about my site later.) The fourth week of November was spent shadowing a current volunteer. That was the most difficult week for me since leaving home. Even though it was final exam week and no actual teaching was going on, I saw how difficult it is to teach in Namibia. In a single 7th-grade class, for example, you might have kids that are anywhere from 12-16, and their ability levels vary widely. How is it possible to teach each of these kids while being fair to all the rest? By that I mean that if I spend extra time helping out a learner who is a little slower than most, then what happens to the gifted learner? She becomes bored, and with boredom comes a lack of motivation and possible disciplinary problems in class. (Btw, in Namibia, a "learner" is a K-12 student, and a "student" is a university student.) But if I cater to that gifted learner, the slow kid gets more and more behind. And how about all the ones in between? These are all questions that I have yet to answer. School starts Wednesday and I am scared to death, now more than ever.
The other reason that week was so difficult for me was because I was homesick. I came so close to quitting and going home. I have never been away from home for this long before, and the fact that I am in a completely unfamiliar environment and culture, certainly does not help. Every time I got off the phone with somebody from home, I would cry and cry and ask myself what in the world I was doing here. Even though I was among fellow trainees that weekend, I wanted nothing more than to just beam myself home. Every second was spent imagining what was going on at home and what my family and friends were doing, and what I'd be doing if I was with them. As I was trying to talk myself into accepting defeat, I told myself that while one reason I joined the Peace Corps was to make a difference, I can always make a difference at home. There are lots of things that I could do in the U.S. that would make a world of change in other peoples' lives. Just because I'm leaving Namibia, does that mean I'm missing out on my chance to affect change? Of course not. Which, looking back, is still true.
A number of times that week, I had my hand on my cell phone, ready to call Peace Corps and tell them, "I quit!" What made me decide against that? Here is the honest answer. As I just stated, one of the three reasons I joined was to make a difference. The other two reasons were to have an adventure and to add something spectacular to my resume when I apply to grad school and jobs. Those two reasons are obviously for my own personal benefit, and before I came here, they were secondary reasons for joining PC. Altruism was my main motivator. Now, after feeling more homesick than I ever thought I could, feeling more alien and out of place than I ever thought I could, and feeling so much anxiety about teaching, what is keeping me here is reason three: my resume. I came here for the sake of others, but I'm staying for my own sake.
Before you decide that I'm a selfish punk, please keep in mind that I still want to contribute to Namibia's future by teaching its children. It's still one of the three reasons I'm here. It's just moved to the back of the line. I have only officially been a PCV for three days, but it has not been easy. Knowing that I'll benefit from this down the road, is what is keeping me sane. (So far.)
What sucks about training is that you are shuttled around like a bad fruitcake at Christmas. You move from place to place, don't have as much privacy as you're accustomed to, and have to live out of a suitcase. That is the worst part. I've been in this country for two months and still have not been able to really unpack my things, because I know that in a few days I'll have to pack up again and go somewhere else. At this moment, I am in a government flat in Noordoewer. It is definitely one of the Top Ten Dirtiest Apartments in the World. The floor is thick with dust, there are cobwebs everywhere, trash left here by the previous occupant, and whats really gross are the cobwebs with brown dust stuck to them. They look like brown fireworks. And I won't even talk about the bathroom. My boss agreed that it was a disgusting flat, but it was also the only one available tonight, so tomorrow morning I am moving into a different flat right after another occupant moves out. My little house on the school campus is not ready yet, so I'll be staying here for a couple weeks while it is prepared for me. Which means that I still can't fully unpack! I just want so badly to get settled and start my life here. Soon enough, soon enough.
For the month of December, we had what is known as Community-Based Training, or CBT, which is when you stay with a host family, and if you are an education volunteer, you teach at "model school." My CBT experience was not bad. My host family was really nice. They were accommodating, friendly, and easy to talk to. I had a bedroom of my own (as was required by PC) the entire house was kept very clean. The only negative experience that I had was the food. As is typical of Namibians, they eat a lot of white rice, pasta and red meat. They also don't refrigerate their mayonnaise or ketchup, which is revolting. I did cook a few times. The first time, I made chicken with onions and garlic. I am not terribly experienced with cooking, which is why the chicken was undercooked. How embarrassing. The second time, I made fried rice. The soy sauce they have here is crap. It is thick and syrupy and too sweet. I thought I did an okay job with it, though, until my host dad slathered his fried rice in mayonnaise. When he finished his plate, he told me it was delicious. I'd have to say the experience with my family was positive, though. I do plan on keeping in touch with them, and we plan to visit each other during my service.
My experience with model school wasn't as good as that with my host family. The kids were rambunctious. They would not shut up! Even when I promised that if they behaved, we'd play a game (they love games), they still didn't behave, and when we played games and they misbehaved, I'd cut the game short, which was followed by a lot of groans and whining…but did they learn their lesson for the next day? No. Which is why classroom management is my biggest concern. I can think of lesson plans and curriculum and stuff like that, but if my actual students are as rowdy as the model school kids were, it's gonna be a long two years. In addition to that, I had the aforementioned problems of learners at different skill levels. Woo hoo. What a ride this will be.
The best part of CBT was that it was a smaller group, only about 15 of us, versus the entire group of 70. I got to know my peers pretty well, and made some good friends. After school, we would go out for pizza at this amazing little restaurant. The pizza was better than in the states!! Our favorite was the Bongo pizza, which had mushrooms, bacon, pineapple and onions. It was delish. We would also go to the Super Spar often. Spar is a grocery store chain here that is comparable to any Vons or Ralphs, which is why we love it so much. It's the closest thing we have to home. And if Spar is so great, you know that Super Spar is gonna be fantastic. It was. At any given moment, you could count on there being at least one PC trainee in there.
That is all for today. Thank you for reading. I have internet on my laptop now, so I can blog regularly!! I will write more in a couple days, so please check back! I will post pictures soon, too.
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